Beta: noscrubs12345
Title: Harry's Dirty Little Secrets
Summary: Harry's a successful Quidditch player that enjoys a very casual love life.When sudden paternity suits arise and accusations are flying,an old fashioned Ministry decides to auction him off in Marriage to the highest bidder. HarryDraco slash AU no Voldie
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters do not belong to me.
If you need to catch up start here, follow links at the bottom of the pages or the tag
A/N: A big thanks to my beta, who had this back so quickly and for all the encouragement you guys have given me. I hope you like the update, let me know what you think. I'm just happy I was able to update this week!
"A little gesture of our appreciation." Fred held out a large white box with a red bow affixed to the top of it.
Draco took it but was quick to set the package on the living room table. With caution, he levitated the top off and when nothing randomly exploded or sprung out, he moved closer to inspect the contents.
He pulled out the first item, holding up the black vest in question and dropping it to inspect what appeared to be a dark blue coat with embossed golden buttons.
"What is this exactly?"
"We got the idea when we ate lunch yesterday."
"You see, this goes around your head.” Fred grabbed a long black cloth and wrapped it around Draco’s head, covering some of his forehead and tying it with a knot.
"We were thinking of Pirate Draco gets captured by Commodore Harry and is interrogated using unorthodox tactics."
“Harry’s costume is in there too," George assured him.
Draco was stuck between mortification and amusement, but he focused on the latter emotion.
"As titillating as my sex life may be, you should be concentrating on getting your own."
"Who’s to say we ever go without?" Fred replied, slipping his arm around George's shoulders.
Draco eyes widened. He couldn't mean...?
Raucous laughter broke his train of thought. "With other people, you pervert!"
"Wow, brother. Draco is pretty kinky. Maybe we should have brought the shackles."
"Maybe you should have," Draco replied, willing the colour out of his face. "Where is number three? I want to get this matter settled.” He tugged the wrap from his head, stuffing it in the box and closing the lid.
“I'll get him," George volunteered, going up the stairs.
Draco smoothed down his mussed locks with his fingers, trying to get it in order. Fred smiled and leaned forward, messing it up again.
Draco glared but their attention was quickly drawn to the staircase where Percy and George were descending.
“You have to join us for lunch. Draco’s here and he brought food from a fancy smancy restaurant. All kinds of treats,” he cajoled.
“I can’t, George. I have to accompany Penelope.”
“You mean hold her bags while she shops. You can do that anytime. How often can you eat with our new brother?”
“But why would Malfoy want to see me?” Percy asked, a little confused.
“Draco,” George corrected, “and for shame, Percy. Of course he wants to get to know you better.”
Percy adopted a look of confusion, still not having noticed the men in the living room. “Look, I have to go. I didn’t reply to her message and I’m running late.” He held up a folded square of parchment.
“You can reschedule,” George insisted.
“Penny-- I mean, Penelope--won’t like that,” he corrected himself.
Draco and Fred exchanged looks. After hearing George try to convince him and Percy mumbling back excuses about how upset Clearwater would be, Draco had had enough.
He made his way to Percy’s side, ignoring his surprise to grab the folded parchment. He glanced over the note, which read more like a court appearance than an invitation for an outing. He took his pen from his pocket and wrote out a response using Percy’s back as a table.
Clearwater,
Weasley is otherwise engaged.
- Draco Lucius Malfoy
“Get this to your owl, will you?” he asked, handing over the note to Fred, who nodded and bounded up the stairs.
“Wait! What did you write, Draco?” Percy asked, frantically looking after his brother.
“That you were unavailable.”
“That’s it? No explanation?”
“Why would I have to explain myself to her?” Draco raised an eyebrow.
“Well, not you, but I would have to explain why I can’t go because she’ll get upset,” Percy explained.
“Clearwater can get a house elf to carry her bags.”
“Just sit down and eat with us, Percy,” Fred grumbled, grabbing his wrist and leading him towards the kitchen.
Percy finally stopped insisting that he had to meet Penelope and began to serve himself from the containers on the table and ate quietly.
“The vegetables are not decoration. They are part of the meal,” Draco pointed out to the twins before turning to Percy. “And you stop fretting over there.”
“I’m sorry but she’s going to be so angry,” Percy replied, shrugging his shoulders helplessly.
“Percy, you don’t have to run to her side when she beckons you. You’re not a dog.”
“And why should you drop whatever book you’re reading to run to her side anyway?” George joined his twin.
“I don’t drop what I’m doing. I just make time,” Percy protested.
“You’re not going out with her anymore. You don’t have to make time.”
“We might get back together,” Percy confided quietly, not looking up the table.
“What! Percy, she makes you miserable.”
“She sucks the life out of you, man, and you need every bit of spark you have.”
Percy looked from twin to twin as they argued with him.
“It just makes sense. She doesn’t mind that I like my books, she doesn’t mind that I spend a lot of time at the Ministry, she doesn’t expect me to go to discothèques, or become the life of a party. We just fit together,” the older brother defended.
Draco sighed, setting his knife and fork to the sides of his plate gently. “Number three--” Draco paused. “Percy. You’re an intelligent fellow. So you must realise that this is not a ‘let’s get to know one another’ kind of moment.”
Percy nodded, looking around suspiciously at his brothers.
“Let me be blunt. This is an intervention,” Draco declared.
Red eyebrows rose high on his forehead and the twins looked at him in surprise but said nothing.
“First of all, they haven’t been called discotheques since the Seventies or Eighties, and I don’t know how important your position is to her father or whether or not that’s what spurning her to continue your courtship.”
“She just wants to make sure I become a well respected member of the Ministry,” Percy replied defensively.
“You don’t have to depend on her to make you anything. You have reached your position based on your own qualifications,” Draco pointed out.
Percy said nothing but he seemed to be taking in what Draco was saying.
“It’s this simple: I’m not about to sit here telling you things that you already know. If you want to be Clearwater’s house elf and pet project then go ahead. Conform yourself to that quaint little existence.”
Draco leaned forward across the table. Lowering his voice, he said, “But I know you probably lay awake at night wondering how it would feel to have Wood’s body covering your own.” He ran his fingers lightly over the top of Percy’s clenched hands, causing him to shiver. “You fantasise about what it would feel like to have his Quidditch roughened hands running over your skin….”
Draco fought to hide his grin, watching Percy’s reaction.
“I don’t fantasise about Oliver,” Percy stammered.
“No, you don’t only fantasise of him. You are completely besotted with the man,” Draco corrected himself, straightening in his seat.
“I don’t! I’m not!”
“Are too,” the twins contradicted. “You eat him up with your eyes.”
Percy shook his head.
“It’s your choice, Weasley. Carry on with the Clearwater girl and cling to your fantasies or grab some of that Gryffindor courage and go for what you really want. Haven’t you waited long enough?” Draco stood up from the table, smoothing out his shirt.
“Oh, and if you decide to pursue him, no more of this rambling or lectures. Just let go of some of that reserve. You’re not dead, after all.”
And with that Draco waved good bye to the twins and left the house.
X x x X x x X
It was easy to agree to help Percy. It was quite another thing to figure out how to go about it. Although the twins had orchestrated the situation, his instructions were simple. Draco suggested that he test the water and figure out what Oliver thought about the whole thing and, if he was interested, they would follow through. If he wasn’t, Draco added he would have her taken care of. The funny thing was that Harry knew Draco would. He wasn’t sure what method he would use, but he was pretty certain the former Slytherin would ensure she never approached Percy again.
The twins were obviously too close to the situation for Oliver to be candid, and Harry was familiar enough to make it comfortable for him to open up to.
Harry sighed in defeat. He had a feeling he would regret it but it was too late to turn back now. He chose the moment when the locker rooms were cleared out and only he and Oliver remained.
“So. I heard you went out with Perce last night,” Harry commented, trying to keep a casual tone about his words as he worked his pants over his hips.
“Yeah. That news spread fast.” Oliver’s voice was muffled as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.
“Did anything good come out of it?" Harry made himself ask.
"Not your kind of good," Oliver said ruefully.
“I could tell that much by your goal keeping,” Harry smirked.
“I was a little distracted,” Oliver admitted, “but to be honest it wasn’t my kind of good either.”
“Why?” Harry asked, kneeling down to tie his shoes.
“I thought he was interested. I mean, he kind of hinted at it when we saw each other at the Weasley’s, but last night he was a different person. It seemed like he would have rather have been in a meeting or something,” Oliver finished with a sigh.
“You like him though.” It wasn’t a question and Oliver did not deny it.
“There’s something about him. He can be so serious, but when I tease him he starts to loosen up and he gets shocked so easily. And when he blushes, I imagine it goes straight down to his toes.” Oliver hid his smile behind his fist.
It was so obvious that his Keeper was interested in Percy. It was kind of sickening, but Harry couldn’t help but smile in recollection of another person he knew was prone to blushing. Draco was very proper but he also was wily, though he didn’t possess quite the nerdy innocence that Oliver seemed to appreciate in Percy.
“It’s up to you really,” Harry said finally. “If you’re willing to see him flail about trying to get it together and talk to you like a date and not professor, or you seek out some good old fashioned consolation. You’re an all right looking bloke. You’re bound to get someone,” Harry shrugged.
“Thanks, mate,” Oliver replied dryly.
“Just get this settled. I need you in peak condition.” Harry gave him a parting shot on the shoulder.
X x x X x x X
“He’s interested enough to let it affect his game, so all I did was ask him if he wanted him enough to put up with him being…. Well, being Percy.”
The couple was busy arranging the back wall of the first floor of the shop.
Draco turned towards his husband. “And that worked?”
“He’s coming, isn’t he?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I never took you for a relationship expert,” Draco murmured, adjusting the bin Harry had just set down.
Harry laughed. “Haven’t been in any long enough to be considered an expert.”
“True. By every definition,” Draco agreed, but his brow furrowed as he estimated the distance between each container. “Have you ever had any relationships that lasted more than an evening?” Draco questioned teasingly.
“Once. In Hogwarts,” Harry answered.
“Oh, right. With that Seventh Year,” Draco said quietly, remembering with clarity the day he found out that Harry was dating Marietta.
“Yeah. It was around the time you went missing in Fifth Year,” Harry realised.
“I didn’t go missing, Potter.” Draco pushed back the bins more.
Harry shrugged. “You were never around. It was boring without you keeping me on my toes”
“Sorry I wasn’t there to keep you entertained. But I’m sure that your flame kept you amused.” Draco tried to keep the envy he felt out of his voice.
“Something like that.”
“So what did I miss in those months of Harry Potter’s life?” Draco felt like he was torturing himself; there was a reason he had maintained his distance when Harry dated Marietta. He had closed himself off to the situation, refused to hear the talk along the grapevine because it hurt too much, but he couldn’t help himself to ask.
“You didn’t miss much. Relationships are not for me. It’s better to enjoy one another and move on with no strings attached. Now would you stop messing with that?” Harry demanded, grabbing his hands so he couldn’t mess with the containers anymore.
“But it needs to be perfect.” Draco resisted, trying to pull his hands out of Harry’s gentle but firm grip.
“It is perfect. They don’t have to be three millimetres from each other,” Harry teased.
“Five millimetres,” Draco corrected.
“Come on! I’m hungry,” Harry pretended to pout, shaking Draco’s hands, “and Molly won’t let me eat unless you take a break too.”
“Fine,” Draco gave in. “Merlin knows we can’t let you go too long without feeding.”
The brunet released his hands but steered him towards the designated eating area with his hands on the small of Draco’s back.
“So when did the Nines say Wood was coming?" Draco asked once they were seated on the floor and he was peeling back the wrapper on his sandwich.
“The Nines?" Harry mumbled around a mouthful of roast beef sandwich
Draco made a face but didn't bother reminding him not to speak with his mouth full. "When four and five are together they become the Nines. It's simple arithmetic, Potter."
“Fred and George,” Harry laughed, “like everyone else calls them, said Oliver would come around lunch. So any time now, I guess.” He went back to eating his sandwich.
“I’m not everyone, though, and there are way too many children in that family to bother remembering names,” Draco pointed out, holding out his can.
“You know their names. You just like to bother.” Harry opened the can while Draco held it still.
Draco thanked him and sat back to enjoy his simple meal while keeping an eye on Percy, who was sat across the way. All morning while they were setting up the store, he had been throwing looks in Draco’s direction. Draco wasn’t bothered by his need for reassurance, if that’s what it was, but it felt more like he was being observed.
He didn’t think about it for long, his mind already moving to his conversation with Harry. He had known Marietta only in the most basic of terms. He had known her because was she dating Diggory and he had been involved in the Tri-Wizard Tournament they hosted at Hogwarts. But in conjunction to Harry, she had only been a faceless person that got to be where he longed to.
The look on Harry's face when he briefly spoke about her, though, was far from loving recollection and he was relieved to see he held no lost love for her. Maybe he would ask the twins for more information, Draco decided.
They didn't have to wait much longer; once they began levitating the heavier merchandise and displays, Wood made his appearance. It was as if Percy had veritably bloomed before their eyes. He didn't stand as stiffly as was his custom, but adopted a stance that visibly reigned in excitement.
‘How could Wood not realise?' Draco thought.
Both men watched as Percy did an odd kind of saunter towards Oliver. It was more of a lopsided gait and Draco could not tear his eyes away from the display. Percy’s cheeks were flushed and he looked uncomfortable, but he kept advancing until he was in Oliver’s personal space.
“What did you tell him exactly?” Harry finally asked, watching with morbid fascination.
‘Was Percy rubbing Oliver’s chest?’
“Nothing that would explain that.” Draco’s eyes remained on the sight when he answered.
“Hello, partners!” a cheery call came from behind them.
“What is your brother doing?”
“You gave him a great pep talk, Draco, but Percy didn’t feel too confident so we gave him a role model,” George explained.
“And who was that, exactly?”
“Our newest family addition,” Fred said.
“I don’t look like that!” Draco said, aghast.
“No, you don’t,” Harry denied quickly. “I think Percy’s a little smoother,” he added, barely holding his serious expression. Harry moved behind him, his front pressed against Draco’s back, draping his arm over Draco’s shoulder.
“Oh look, he’s going to give Ollie your ‘come hither’ stare.”
“These eyelashes have never fluttered about like that,” Draco corrected, turning his head, his cheek pressing into Harry’s.
“No, you’re right. Yours is a little different,” Harry admitted.
‘A hell of a lot different,’ Harry thought, recalling the smouldering look Draco often delivered from beneath his lashes.
“See? He’s doing good,” Fred beamed, ignoring the disbelieving looks from Harry and Draco.
X x x X x x X
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Comments
I am loving your Draco, hes all cute, blushy and fiesty XD thank you for the wonderful update!
more hijinks to come before we come to the serious parts ;)
I wonder how is all this "rol player" thing affecting Wood xD!
How many chaps on the road yet? :O?
Update soon.
Clau! :D!
A little more fun before we get to more serious matters :D
You went on hiatus again!!! D:!!!
We want the next chapt and the next after that a the next to that next!! D:!!!
I know you must be busy and that you got a really valid and a really good reason for your hiatus (probably xD), but pleaseee, try!!! T-T!!!
I'm not pressing you, I'm just making you remember you got a damn good fic here xD!
I know I'm all kinds of bad for getting behind again, but I did update my other story which means that I am working on the next chapter to HDLS right now
Here's hoping you see it up next week - :D
And I don't feel pressured, it reminds me that people actually want to read this and gets me working ;)
YAY for that 8DDD!!!
In the time being, I think I'll be checking your HDLS. I don't even know what is that one about xD! I'll start it after my test tomorrow if I get to sleep something tonight. I really hate the damn class and the woman teaching it. She is plain evil, I swear it!! D:!
Draco's names for the twins is a piece of genius. And that he and the "Nines" get along so well...*huggles* ADORABLE!
NEED MORE. UPDATE. SOON. PLEASE.
Yup, they are family after all although Draco would not admit it to anyone quite yet.
Who I'm loving:
The Twins!
Percy!
Ollie!
and Will..
I also like Draco at some moments, and in others i want to slap him, and say: Get some self love and respect! The problem is that Draco is right at some moments, and in others i really feel that he's also wrong, because he is a amazing bloke, but has "bought" Harry in a certain kind of way. I may seem crazy, but i guess the ideal would be they two split and Draco start going out with Will (I adore Will) and make Harry very jealous and doing anything to have Draco back.
Well, it's just my opinions, hope you don't mind! Anyway, this fic is on the hall of my favorites ever!
Please Update it soon
You never fail to deliver good reading pleasure.
P.S Love your new icon
Friended you back- How could I not with those two sexy Draco gifs on your profile ;)
I know it was highhanded of Draco, but it was the only thing he could think of when he was hurting and it will definitely be something he has to deal with :D
First of all, I quite like the idea of it. Harry being sued for paternity and being auctioned off! Its too funny. And you have kept a good grip on the characters and plot, so the story is a very good read.
Harry is such a wanker in this story, I wanted to slap some sense into Draco for even allowing him to touch him. But then Draco came up with Operation Flaccid Cock, and I wanted to do cartwheels, lol.
What Harry did for the honeymoon was hilarious, and had Draco been any less smitten, he would've filed for divorce, like Harry and Ron had thought.
Humiliating the Malfoys in front of everyone was bad, but what was even worse was getting a blowjob from someone else right at the Manor when everyone else, including Draco, his parents, and guests, are in the house. Infidelity is wrong even in private; in public its just crass and downmarket. Draco would have been well within his rights to hex Harry's balls off for it. And I also don't think it should be forgiven easily. Having one disappointment in life doesn't mean you start tearing around the lives of other people.
This auction business is downright dodgy from Harry's point of view; marriages don't happen that way. While I can understand Harry resenting it, he should understand that he could just as easily have been bought by a sex maniac twice his size who would've fucked him to death, and then compare that to Draco putting up with his shit. But I do think they need to separate first, and then think if they really want to be together, willingly, and then get together. Oh, and Harry needs to do the wooing and apologizing. Lol. But thats me getting ahead of myself.
I quite like Percy and Oliver, though. Percy's date was hilarious, him coming on all boring. He definitely needed the help. Do update soon.